How Instagram’s fake reality ruined me
Yes, you heard it right,
Instagram more like Insecurities-gram.
I was always a social butterfly, I still am one, but at a more controlled level.
I never had any hatred against Instagram, or the posts on it, or the people using it, but I hated what I was becoming because of it.
Social media ruined how I started to look at myself and very soon I started to question my credibility, not based on how I walk and talk or my personality but entirely on my looks.
All my life I never questioned myself based on the color of my skin or the texture of my hair.
In a less digital world it was people and conversations that defined you as a person, not your Social Presence.
Only if social media platforms were used for their purposes, life would be simpler.
I guess I came to the conclusion of avoiding social media when I was feeling low one day for no apparent reason.
I used to wait for validation from the outside world, seek attention, I needed people to tell me I am doing OK, but the truth was entirely different.
My life is a rut, I don't know my next career move, I am entirely broke and slowly losing hope and confidence. I didn’t look like anything in the photos I posted or my statuses.
The idea of posting when I feel like dawned upon me only then.
I always posted keeping someone else in mind,
I want to pose like her,
I need a photo like that.
But now I feel calmer and I post something when I feel entirely good and only want the people who care and matter to me, see it.
THE REAL PROBLEM
The place I come from India, there is a toxic thought process about how a person should look and behave, I thought it was normal back in my college days but looking back now, I understand there were so many instances where several men and women equally have been judged by their body and their looks.
Sadly in our country physically pleasing personalities are called
“Beautiful, Handsome, Hot and Sexy”
and people who are out there actually making history are deemed
“not that pleasing to look at.”
I am not saying it is wrong to admire,
but seriously look around yourself you can appreciate beauty,
but blowing it up out of proportion is just baseless and entirely stupid.
If only you took the time to appreciate beauty as the
“The Man who sacrifices for our nation”,
“The Woman who stands for what is right”,
the world would be a better place now.
Appreciate physical beauty but do not overrate it.
My heart aches seeing millennials glorifying women and men who look pretty, creating pages on social media, following, stalking them continuously, treating them like gods and goddesses.
It is OK to look, but not OK to encourage this toxic behavior that looks are everything.
You need to appreciate people for their efforts, their ideals, thoughts and what they stand by, doesn’t matter they are pretty or ugly, black or white.
Looking back at the things I did just to be accepted by people and to be called pretty and get their attention honestly disgusts me.
I thought I was the problem, I wasn’t pretty enough, but No, it was the mindset instilled in us by the society we live in.
WHY IS IT MORE A “WOMAN” ISSUE?
I claimed to be a feminist but didn’t entirely transition into one.
The day I felt I had the power to call myself pretty and also be called pretty by people who honestly appreciate me from their hearts I finally felt at peace.
As women, we are threatened easily, by magazine covers, runway models, unrealistic beauty standards set by actors, remember if we had the time and money anyone could look good under a spotlight.
Instagram posts and stories are the best versions of every person, the post they have been thinking about for a long time after meticulous and tedious hours of makeup and dressing up.
And women are subjected to portraying their beauty to the world more than men, so it is natural for women to feel more insecure about their bodies.
I wish upcoming generations posses support towards more goal-oriented women, rather than beauty pageant worthy women.
Men do have this sense of comparison in them for this very fact, based on masculinity, height, beard but they give less shits about it, they feel bad but it crosses off their mind soon, because they are not surrounded by a cult of men continuously nagging them for their looks.
They do have other problems, they are judged based on their salaries and their jobs, which is also unfair but it is a whole other concept.
HOW TO DEAL WITH IT?
I feel it is our responsibility to stop trying to accept validation, it is high time we learn to decide and take power over how we look.
We feel a validation by someone is necessary to be remarked as pretty or handsome, this thought should vanish. Acceptance comes from you about how you feel good in your perspective don’t let it fall in the hands of random people.
I do want to look attractive, but only for myself, my family and the partner in my life. A partner who loves me for who I am skinny or fat, fair or dark. Who really knows me as a woman and accepts me for my flaws. These are the people you root for and treasure for life.
People who love you, understand, take responsibility, and respect you for who you are inside out. They take steps to make you feel good about yourself in your skin.
It is natural to feel ugly or not accept yourself for you are, we are humans we are our greatest critics.
But, If you don’t like what YOU see in the mirror you have the power to change it, but do it keeping only yourself in your mind, not random people who put you down for no reason.
So stop chasing fake realities, start working on yourself for yourself.
No one has the right to put you down, call you fat or ugly and displeasing to look at.
Do not banter or feel low about emotions that destroy you. Be a nice person filled with the goodness you will attract people who love you for who you truly are.
